butterflywing

birthdays are celebrated for many reasons, for many private reasons, and many little reasons no one really has to know but yourself. i didn't really celebrate, i guess i just let the day pass, like it was just another day, I honestly did not even enjoy going to Tondo for a reunion, I wasn't ecstatic for anything, I basically sat at the salon chair getting my hair brushed and treated while holding my cellphone in one hand, tending to the loving friends who remembered my birthday, I got myself a new tote, that's just the icing on the cake, but later in the evening I started realizing that as I put on the numbers in my life, and after realizing

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when does 'this' love end? when will it fade? when will all this be gone? ------ I thought of you today, by accident and i chose to go all the way through it, the pain of remembering all of "you". i never thought of how complete i was until the day i lost you 'again', though complete i felt slightly illustrous, evidently unpretty. You're so near, and yet i pretend you to be so far. there is no one to blame but myself, for in this moment i choose to be hurt. At this very moment I realize that looking at you from this close distance, this little proximity of distance, i could not call your name. i could not say hi to you and ask you t